All of us have a communication style. It consists of words and other means – Verbal and Non-Verbal
Aggressive style or provoking only serves to incite the self destructive behavior. Passive style or enabling gives it a free hand to addiction. Passive-aggressive style makes you a sheep in wolf’s clothes. Obviously you need to learn assertive style to stabilize your mood. When you take responsibility for your feelings with calm, collected, and consistent assertive style it takes the authority away from the addiction and puts you into a position of leadership. It will also give you courage to initiate intervention.
It’s important to remember that no one uses one specific style with all people and all the time. We use different strokes for the different folks and different strokes for the same folks in different times and situations. However, one style best describes your overall behavior. You will be amazed to know how repetitive your style is and especially how you deviate from your “regular” style when it comes to your loved one. Your communication style with him is unique; it’s anything but assertive; and it is something you’ve learned during this nightmare-living with him under the same roof. When you identify that your style is counter-productive and is damaging your relationship, you can go into Assertiveness training.