Healing from shame involves dealing with the wounds of childhood, grief work, giving voice to one’s inner child. Bradshaw says, healing from the shame is the integration of your disowned parts.
One of the exercises to heal yourself from the shackles of shame is to imagine yourself sitting in another chair in front of you and to basically see yourself as other people see you.
“Making Peace With people around you” is one of the best exercises because it gives you the most immediate insight.
The main idea is to stop making yourself into a “super-human” or a “sub-human”. Shame-based people often try to be more than human, and see themselves as less than human. They never allow themselves to just be human.
First, you make a list of the people you dislike and rank them in order of the intensity of your feelings; the most culpable person being number 1. Then, use a few lines to describe the aspects of their character and moral flaws that repulse you.
Read over each name on your list and reflect on the aspect of each that you despise the most. Reduce your description to that one trait. Each of these personality traits represent a disowned part of yourself – an energy pattern you have worked very hard to repress in yourself.
For every repressed energy pattern is another energy pattern working very hard to keep the unwanted part trapped. The next thing you do is to identify that blocking trait – the one your shame-based self overcompensates with.
Now, the interesting part, ask each disowned energy how it could help you, if used in an appropriate way. We’re just trying to become normal humans and not going over to the Dark Side of the Force.