The Delusional system of Alcoholism works to block the awareness of the alcoholic about the disease, which has been growing insidiously making it impossible for him to acknowledge its existence. From the outside, it appears as though the person is lying. That is why alcoholics are labeled as liars—even pathological liars. The people around the alcoholic assume that he is still capable of distinguishing between wishful perception and bitter realities. They are shocked and unable to understand as to why he does not simply face up to the problem and do something about it.
The progressive and bewildering condition enters into the gloomy picture of Alcoholism .i.e. Rationalization, Projection, Blackout, Repressions and Euphoric recalls. A faulty memory system develops which is typical of alcoholism and is almost universally present in sufferers. It is also one of the hardest things for people around them to understand.
How family become part of delusional system?. How does it feel to live with someone who lives to drink only?. He looks straight into your eyes and denies the ground realities. And your reaction is, “May be I am going crazy!” He is completely out of touch with reality. He passes cruel remarks like this: “If you were not so boring. I would not find drinking so fascinating,” and “Can’t you change this dress? You are looking rusty. Look at yourself in the mirror, “If you are more of a woman, I would not need to drink too much.” Alcoholic uses these kinds of defenses for continuous use of alcohol.
When you spend a great deal of time with an individual who is trapped in delusional system, it is easy to get caught up in it yourself. As you absorb the brunt of these remarks, your self image progressively deteriorates. On the top of this you have to assume the role of protector, like making apologies and excuses to his employer and friends for his antisocial behaviors. This is called Enabling.
One doesn’t always use words— a cold shoulder and glaring eyes are equally effective in conveying the massage. At times violent out bursts may enhance the alcoholism.This is called Provoking
As the disease progresses, you fluctuate between the deep depression to violent outbursts. You are caught in downward spiral. Then you start feeling helpless and fall into the trap of self pity, and say, “I am the only thing that’s holding this family together,” and “what a life I could have had, if only…” You begin to feel as if you are totally alone in this world. You continue to pick up the pieces after each episode while growing more protective, controlling, and blaming. And you continue to hide really from him or her and from yourself.
If you don’t get help for yourself at this stage, you move on to codependency. You become his shadow. This is an addiction of chasing the dragon. You are happy or unhappy according to his wish. There is another role available for you, a role that reverses this process of deterioration and lead toward recovery for you and alcoholic. That is the role of the intervener by doing intervention.